Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Now For Some Whining

The two finger ulcers are still BAD. Sometimes, the shooting throbbing pain is hitting up close to an 8. But, it's not constant, so, at least there's that.

It's interesting how much I can tolerate the pain to get through the day. The coping mechanisms I've learned. Rubbing and squeezing the finger above the ulcer. Holding my breath and gritting my teeth through the "spasms" is another big daytime helper.

Unfortunately, though, these are in my "grab spots" so I touch them with everything I touch throughout the day.

At this moment, at 2 a.m., they feel great. The drugs are kicking in and I can go to sleep.

By 8, they'll start having dull throbbing episodes which will be interrupting my sleep.

By 11 and later, I'm going to wish I could have stayed in bed. There its cushiony and I don't have to touch anything that will cause pain.

By 1:30 when I get the car packed up, and have to pump gas for my trip to Orlando and back, I'll be just shy of tears and "needing" a Mt. Dew. (Yes, I plan to stop that horrible habit some day. Right now, it's my stress helper, as crappy as that is.)

So, by the time I get home tomorrow night, I'm likely to have had a meltdown somewhere in the day. Maybe more than one. I'll have wanted to use a hack-saw to cut off the rest of my fingers and I'll most definitely be happy to get home, into bed, with some pain relief. Maybe, by the time Wednesday rolls around, I will just stay home in bed. Safe and cushioned. Where I might just look into this a little more ....

Wouldn't THAT be awesome? And such a huge help!

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