Pain Tolerance

I wonder if, as I'm getting older, my pain tolerance is not what it once was. Or are the sores that much more painful?

Either way, as you can see from the previous few months posts, I've got a nice collection of digital ulcers/sores. I've been tolerating most of them "ok" They hurt. They suck. But, I've managed, like always.

In the past few weeks I have two new sores, on my finger tips, or in "touch spots" that are pretty tough to deal with. They have caused three or more full on melt-downs in less than two weeks. That's a LOT of melt downs for me.

As I'm writing this, I realized that there are a bazillion nerve endings in your fingertips, which would account for the higher sensitivity to the pain. So, I guess that answers my initial question.

Anyway, the pain has been bad. The melt downs have been bad. And frequent. I don't waste my time with OTC pain meds for my ulcers. It's a waste of time, money, and adds crap to my body. I already hate taking the medications I am on now. But they all DO something. I don't want to add other stuff if it's not going to DO anything.

So, I manage and tolerate the pain as best I can. Until I can't. Today, I couldn't. By this afternoon, my pain level was pretty high and on top of that, I was up most of the night with pain, so I was exhausted and easily pushed over the edge. Finally, after a meltdown from the pain and not being able to even touch a thing without making the pain worse, I succumbed and took the good drugs.

I hate taking them. Yes, they alleviate the pain, but they knock me out. I hate that cycle. However, as tired as I was, today, it was ok. The meds kicked in, the pain became tolerable and I slept.

I just wish there was another way. Have I mentioned, I hate drugs?

Last night, in my middle of the night melt down, I was researching. Trying to find another way. A better way. A med free way to deal with the pain.

I found a book with Buddhist insight and techniques for managing pain. Since, I'm an aspiring Buddhist, let's hope I can learn something useful and get somewhere with it.

Wish me luck. I'll report back if anything fruitful comes from it.