Evolution and endurance

Tuesday, August 03, 2010 1 Comments A+ a-

I've been sleeping a lot again.  No afternoon naps, but sleeping at least 10 hours  a night. 

I'm not a fan of the 10 hour snoozes.  I never have been.  It used to be the cause of many a meltdown.  Not being able to get up for work in the morning.  Feeling like I was being lazy.  Like I should be able to fight it.  Like I was being a slacker and not doing my job.  Then needing more sleep and a nap in the middle of the day.  Ugh.

But, when you just can't fight through the tired and the sleep, what do you do?

I had a good team when I was still at work in Maryland.  They understood why I didn't make it in until 10 or 11.  Well, maybe they didn't understand, but lucky for me, they accepted it.  Worked with me.  Knew I could handle whatever needed to be done after I got in. 

Since the move and the medical leave, the 10 hour snoozes don't cause these meltdowns anymore.  I still feel like a shlump for sleeping so much, but I don't beat myself up.  I know that what I have to manage at home will work on my schedule. 

When I think about being tired, I remember, I've been tired my whole life.  As a kid, I never was up at the crack of dawn for Xmas.  I couldn't drag myself out of bed that early.

At 19, my thyroid made me sleep all the time.  After that settled, I was a normal sleeper for a couple years.  Then, along came Scleroderma.  Since that started, I think there is rarely a period when I'm not tired.

I've commented MANY times over the past 14 years, that I'm tired of being tired.

Almost a blessing in disguise that hubby and I weren't blessed with little ones ... I'm not sure I could handle being any more tired.

The past few mornings I've been noticing some stiffness and aches when I wake up.  Nothing too alarming.  Just enough to notice.  To not help with the motivation, or lack there of.

I'm also noticing that a set of stemmed glasses we bought a few months ago, just for me, now seem to be a hassle.  They weren't when we got them.  Now they are.  Just another indicator that my hands continue to get worse.  Good thing they were cheap.  Looks like I'll be scouring Walmart again for some new ones that work.

Always looking for ways to adapt.  Evolve.  Endure.


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August 4, 2010 at 6:41 AM delete

I hope it's a sign that your body is demanding a meditative week! All that Mind - Body - Spirit stuff. 

I easily sleep 8-10 hours. But lately, I can tell by the deep - grouchy - daytime naps that my body is struggling with recent stress from IVIG infusions and physical therapy. Your post reminds me to pay attention. 

Hope it all calms back down for you. Soon.